It's weird how people get hung up on stuff
that doesn't really matter, until something that matters really happens.
Like cheerleading, for example.
You just gave me niplash.
Are you manstruating?
You have no strength.
Kara Souders' reign of terror began in preschool,
when she went for Halloween as Osama bin Laden.
Every superhero and princess surrendered their candy to her.
This water sucks. It tastes like pee.
Let's do it again.
Five, six, seven, eight.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
One, two...
- Shouldn't we call 911? - Not till we post this on Instagram.
Yes, unconscious. Do cpr?
Really?
Yes.
Here's the thing about a hospital.
Everyone has somewhere to go and something to do,
and you'd better not get in their way.
Hey!
What makes you think this is a good idea?
Pedestrians have the right-of-way.
Not you, buddy! Not you.
The one they want you to know
and the one they don't.
- Please hold it. I'm late. - Doesn't mean I should be, too.
Did you even brush your teeth this morning? 'Cause your breath smells like toenails.
- Can I help you? - My doctor said to meet him at the E.R.
- Who's your doctor? - Doctor McAndrew.
He said to page him.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
I won.
- Hey. - Hey.
I see they got your name right.
The barista was one of those homeschool types.
Wasn't sure he could spell scary without adding an "E,"
but he managed.
Leo Roth's been here longer than anybody, except for me.
He used to be a leader, but now he's pulling back.
Well, I guess if you were waiting to see
if your treatment had worked,
you might not make the best choices, either.
Lately, he's been hanging out with Dash Hosney.
And Dash Hosney always knows where the party is.
This place is crawling with medical marijuana.
It's called electric Avenue.
It's awesomesauce. Crap, we should go.
We... we have class.
Yeah, we also have life.
Seriously?
- Buzzkill. - All right. Let's hear it.
We thought this was the new physical therapy room. I guess we got the wrong place.
It... it seemed pretty small.
Yeah, it did, didn't it?
Boys, I know you could sell shoes to a snake,
but I'm no snake.
So if you're gonna lie, lie well,
and know who you're lying to. Boy.
Neanderthals were considered adults when they turned nine,
which had to bite.
But today, you're considered an adult when you're, like,
in your 20s,
which is probably bad for the future of mankind,
but lucky for me, 'cause I'm in a coma.
Yeah, this is me talking to you from a coma.
Deal with it.
The thing about a coma, is you can hear everything.
You just can't respond.
It can be so friggin' annoying.
Everyone knows how hard it is to make friends.
Imagine how hard it is to make friends in a coma.
I'm at a serious disadvantage here.
Here's what I Miss.
The smell of pizza, yanking my chain,
and my friends.
But not necessarily in that order.
We can get to class.
We don't need an escort.
Well, you got lost in that supply closet,
so I'm really doubting you're capable.
Well, I'm sorry. I know that looked stupid.
Yeah, only if you get caught.
- What did you say, Dash? - Nothin'.
LMNG in a hospital is sort of like going to boarding school.
You have a lot of rules, but a lot of freedom.
And if you get in trouble, I mean, how bad can it be?
You're already in a hospital.
Hold on, Leo.
Life is full of black holes, honey,
we can fall into at any time.
That's a given, but I have made an investment in you.
And I like my investments to pay off,
so I have to protect them.
Now get your ass in school.
I mean, let's think about it.
He displays intelligence and charisma.
Henry is a teenage prince...
- Your girlfriend's here. - Shut up.
And he's got more than a few problems...
Nice of you two to join us.
"We few, we happy few, we band of bRothers."
Here's the weird thing about a hospital.
You become friends with kids
that you would never know in a million years.
Losers, populars, stoners, nerds...
The walls just kind of fall down.
And then, there was Emma.
Emma was destined for greatness,
but her eating disorder keeps getting in her way.
And what did you win first prize for today?
I actually received a major award,
but you missed it because you were late.
Emma and Leo met when Leo first got here.
Both super smart, athletic,
they brought out something powerful in each other,
their real selves.
And it freaked them both out,
because they both felt it,
and they didn't want to.
Hey, what're you doing in that chair?
Why are you so skinny?
Leo got scared, and he blew it.
They both regret it.
So now they're obsessed with making each other miserable.
Hey, Leo.
Why don't you tell me about
Katharine's relationship with Henry?
- She's totally hot for him. - No, she's not.
They can't communicate.
He speaks horrible French. She doesn't speak English.
See, around her he doesn't have to be
the best at everything. That's why she's into him.
- No, that's why he's into her. - Okay, we get it.
Henry is a total pleasure-seeker, right?
But he has no close friends.
Why? He's going to war,
and getting too close to anyone's a bad idea.
Explain.
'Cause then it... it won't be hard to say goodbye.
When you're in a hospital trying to get better,
the most important part of you that needs to survive...
Is you.
Everyone, let's read the Saint Crispin's day speech
to ourselves, and then we'll discuss.
You're not my patient.
Paging Dr. McAndrew.
I can't find you in the system.
So who referred you?
Me.
I referred me.
It takes months to get an appointment with you,
and by then my cancer will have spread.
So I told them I was already your patient,
and by law they can't turn me away at the E.R.
That's not bad.
Here's my file.
This is in Spanish.
I'll translate it for you.
I have osteosarcoma, right leg.
Hang on a second. Where are your parents?
My mom, she died, last year.
We were LMNG here.***
My dad, I don't know.
I was sent to Mexico, to my cousins.
Is that where you were diagnosed?
And my doctor said I need the surgery first,
and then the chemo.
I want you to do it. I've read you're the best.
You're the only one who leaves the part of the bone.
Jordi, I admire your courage.
Balls.
I prefer balls.
I don't work like this, all right?
So go home to your original doctors,
and they'll take good care of you.
I knew the odds of getting you as my doctor sucked.
But I figured what the hell?
I mean, what was the chance I was gonna get cancer?
Here I am.
I take it the word "no" is not in your vocabulary.
If "no" was in my vocabulary,
why would I be asking you to say "yes"?
When you work in pediatrics,
there are always gonna be patients you really care about.
And patients you don't.
So what's his deal? Is he dead?
No. He is in a coma.
You don't mind if I smoke, do you, coma boy?
Didn't think so.
When people are sick you see how complicated they really are,
because there's always that point
where they drop their crap and let you in.
But not Kara.
You got to wonder what I did to deserve this.
That is so cool.
Who put these here?
I did.
I made them for you.
I thought we could be, like, muffin buddies.
Muffin buddies?
Come on. Be her muffin buddy.
Shut up.
- I have, like, a 24 - Hour shift today.
Don't use "like" like that.
It's my boyfriend's birthday today,
so I was wondering if I could just go hang out with him,
for just one hour, on my break?
Brittany, how long have you been working here?
Six weeks?
I drove out with my boyfriend and our dog.
You're acting like I care.
Good morning, Dr. McAndrew.
Good morning, Jackson.
I'm gonna need an mri on our newest patient,
Jordi Palacios.
Where were you thinking of putting him?
I was gonna defer to you on that one.
Miss Rosemary's baby in 515b.
So we ignore her?
As long as possible.
All right, here's the file.
I know just where this Jordi should go.
Yeah, I thought so, too.
So do you want to talk to Leo or should I?
I will.
What?
My God.
Charlie?
Charlie? Charlie?
You want to tell me why
you pushed a kid in a coma's call button?
Well, the service here is terrible, and I'm starving.
Bring me a kale salad with grilled chicken,
dressing, side, and a mineral water.
Coming right up.
What time are your parents getting here?
They were in a meeting in San Diego this morning.
So, like, another hour?
New phone?
Yeah. Jealous much?
Don't you ever press his call button again.
You understand?
You know what happens to patients who cry wolf?
We sell their organs for cash on the black market
and split the money.
You don't scare me.
You're just some loser nurse who rides the bus.
Got to go make some calls.
No, I don't want a roommate.
I feel you pulling away, all right?
And now is not the time.
Look, it's not just them.
It's their parents,
their grandparents, their stupid friends.
I happen to know, with this patient,
you're not gonna have to worry about that.
So what? He must be a total loser.
Jordi, this is your bed.
I'm gonna order you some lunch.
Jordi, this is your new roommate, Leo Roth.
Leo, this is Jordi Palacios.
Gentlemen, if you'll excuse me.
Not much of a talker?
Not to you.
I'm sorry you heard that.
I'm... I'm not a tool.
I just have a lot of unknowns in my life right now.
Why are you here?
I have cancer.
In my leg.
Dr. McAndrew's taking it off tomorrow.
Yeah, yeah.
I know the silence.
It's a real conversation-killer.
Nobody ever really knows what to say.
You're gonna get through it.
It's easy for you to say.
Not really.
♪ Where did I go wrong? ♪
♪ Lost a friend, somewhere alone, bitterness ♪
♪ I would have stayed up with you all night ♪
♪ Had I known how to save a life ♪
Hey, volunteer dude, shut up already.
I've blown, like, five levels of candy crush since you've come in.
Well, what would you like to hear?
Silence.
Your taste in music is so average it hurts me.
Scoop some vanilla ice cream on your white bread, will ya?
Tough crowd.
Why would you volunteer for this?
Don't you have, like, a real job?
Yeah, I have a job for money,
but I consider this my real job.
Bye, Charlie.
It's not like he can hear you.
That is disgusting.
I can hear that.
I'm gonna blast her till her eyes water.
Sewage fart!
Where you going?
I'm gonna meet someone for lunch in the adult wing.
Don't we eat in the rooms?
Usually, but today I have other plans.
When you're a kid in the hospital,
you have the place wired.
Back hallways, service elevators...
They can't watch you 24 hours a day.
So you have kind of a freedom
you could never have at home or at school.
You're everywhere. Like mold.
- I need to ask you something. - No.
No, I-i can't be this person for you.
That's what nurse Jackson or Dr. McAndrew's for.
They can't answer this question.
Only you can.
Fine.
What?
Does it hurt?
Not like you think it will.
It's the chemo that sucks.
But maybe you'll get lucky and won't need it.
Any other questions?
What's for lunch?
Yo.
Jordi, this is Dash.
Dash, this is Jordi, my new roommate.
Hey.
Hey, man, since when when'd you get a new roommate?
If anybody should move into the swamp,
it should be me. Well, he's alone.
What is this, the big bRother program?
Where are we going?
To eat lunch with ruben Garcia.
He lives here 'cause he's gonna leave all his money
to the hospital when he dies.
He's a rich hippie, not a stoner.
Yeah, ruben just says that to set a good example.
Yeah, he's definitely both.
What's he got?
Nothing. He's a hypochondriac.
Is that your last meal before surgery?
Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.
You can't go out with a whimper.
You... you got to go out with a serious bang.
Hey, Leo, you got to give him a party tonight.
Say goodbye to his leg, you know?
Fireworks.
Music, wine, women, sex.
Yo, he's, like, 14, man.
Well, you got to use it while you still can.
- We can't give a real party - Party.
I mean, look at where we are.
Leo, man.
I am so disappointed in you.
Have I taught you nothin'?
I helped plan Woodstock when I was 16 years old.
And that was supposed to be so sick.
Dash, it w... it was sick.
A hundred years ago.
We all came together that day.
We changed the world.
We won't change the world with this party.
Okay, fine.
Maybe you won't, but you just might change your world.
I hate to eat and bolt,
but I got to go meet with that newbie nurse.
I'm this close to gettin' a sponge bath out of her.
Do you always get a sponge bath?
Yeah, the shower's not too good for my lungs.
Is she buying this?
Twilight?
I love twilight.
Yeah?
I'm only reading it to attract a Mormon.
I heard them lungs are perfect for transplant,
so I carry it around the icu
and the E.R. to see if any parents, family members,
or, you know, patients'll spot me.
So you haven't read any of it?
I'm sorry.
I gave up when she wrote about how he sparkled.
Brittany, I need to talk with you about something.
What?
You're an awesome person.
Thanks, Dash.
I've never said this to anyone before, but...
Here it comes.
I'm afraid... I'm afraid that I might die...
Dash.
A virgin.
And I would hate to waste that.
Um.
Um, okay...
I need to get your mist machine.
Come on, you could be my Bella.
You could be that singular experience
that I can carry with me into eternity.
You need to breathe with this for half an hour
before postural drainage therapy.
All right. What if we just make out?
What?
Not enough sparkle?
Apparently not.
Excuse me? Are you looking for something?
Yeah.
Are you gonna eat your lunch?
What kind of question is that?
I'm hungry, okay?
I want to eat, but I don't get the good stuff.
You don't want to eat,
but your food is made by a private chef.
So help me help you.
Go ahead.
But be cool.
Have you ever tried the salted ice cube diet?
It's supposed to really work if you can stick to it.
So is this your big ambition in life?
- To cheer? - What's wrong with that?
Well, first off, you don't seem very cheerful.
Hey, how many hours of your life
do you spend jumping up and down?
Very clever.
- She's coming. Hide it. - Where?
Your sling.
Nice job, Emma.
You're a good liar.
I have cigarettes and diet pills if you get hungry.
Room 5115.
I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs.
So unhealthy, right?
Not like starving yourself.
Look at you two, all matchy-matchy
with your hot wheels.
Not exactly. He has two legs,
I only have one. 'Scuse me?
Yeah, yeah, so tomorrow I'm getting mine cut off
so then I can look just like him.
Ew, sick.
You should hang with us tonight.
We're having a good-bye party for his leg.
Please. You know if we went to the same school
I wouldn't even be talking to you.
You know, I have a theory why all cheerleaders are mean.
What does everyone have
against cheerleaders around here?
It's 'cause deep inside, you know you've already peaked,
and it's just downhill from here.
I have not peaked.
And in a few years' time,
when you're working at the grocery store,
you know, desperate for your high school reunion
to relive your glory days,
you'll be filled with regret that you made the choice
to blow off a party because you
thought you were better than everybody else there.
All right, stop with the word vomit!
Hey, the truth hurts.
Do you want some truth?
Those bracelets are so done.
Who wears those anymore?
You don't even know what these are.
Are we really having this party?
Man, it's on.
- Hey. - Hey.
There's a party tonight on the roof.
And this concerns me why?
You can't study all the time.
Emma, this is Jordi, my new roommate.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me get this straight.
They gave you a roommate?
I must be dying, right?
Looks like you're gonna have a single soon.
- What are you in for? - I have a problem with my leg.
It's got to go. Tomorrow.
Well, do you get to keep it?
Yeah, yeah, I'm planning to freeze it.
- Like wedding cake. - Right,
I'll take it out for a walk every year.
Get it a tattoo, go shoe shopping.
That is sick even for me.
You're seriously twisted.
- Not everybody appreciates it. - Let's go.
Someone just got turned around.
You should come tonight.
Emma loved that she was making Leo jealous.
And we're back with what a girl wants again,
kind of obvious she wants to be more than a friend.
You're okay!
I'm so relieved. Aw, kiss her!
You know you want to.
When I saw your bed was empty...
Of course I'm okay.
I'm just waiting for my parents to pick me up.
This place is a total freak show.
These are from the whole squad.
You're using this as an excuse to see me.
And you didn't need to call 911. You were unconscious.
I thought maybe you'd broken your neck or something.
No, you saw an opportunity, and you jumped on it.
I've seen the pictures.
I can overcome it because I look super hot in them,
but you need to be honest with yourself.
You want me to be honest?
The only reason I'm here is because nobody else would come.
- What? - I felt sorry for you.
You felt sorry for me?
At least I have some compassion.
Everybody else just hates you.
Whoa. Intense.
Looks like Miss eva peron needs her pillows fluffed again.
Let her wait.
Page Dr. Holstman.
Stat. Why?
Because this girl won't do anything once if she can do it twice.
Get the cart.
Kara? Kara?
I need some help down here.
My God.
I must be dead.
No, you're just where I live, in between.
Coma boy? No way.
Okay, look. I don't know how much time we have,
so I need you to do two things for me when you get back...
You can talk now?
If you make it back.
What do you mean "if"?
First, I need you to order me pizza.
Pizza? Why?
Because I think the smell might wake up my brain
and pull me out of my coma.
- You can smell in a coma? - Yeah.
Well, then can you smell your farts?
'Cause they're disgusting.
So are your cigarettes.
Can you really hear?
Yes, everything. And I'm so stuck.
This isn't where I want to be, but you can help me change that.
No, I can't.
Yes, you can, because you're stuck, too,
even if you're not in a coma.
My God, shut up.
Fine, but the second thing, and this is really important.
I need you to tell my dad that it wasn't his fault.
What? No... who's your dad?
Kara? Can you hear me?
- Kara? - Kara?
I so freaked her out.
- Kara? Kara? - What?
- I want an echo, an EKG, and a chest x - Ray.***
She needs to be wearing a heart monitor.
Assuming she has one.
Hello?
I can hear you.
I know, baby.
J.J., the hospital valet,
knew that plastic surgeon Dr. Dick...
Yeah, that's his name...
Had to fix a nose from 3:00 to 4:00 today.
So if his car went for a short drive during that time...
The guy ain't tipped me in over a year.
Car means more to him than his patients.
20 minutes. Yeah, yeah, man.
We know the deal.
I.D., please.
Sorry.
You know, while you're at it,
let me get some of those extra-large condoms, please.
Thank you.
I'm not taking this.
Seriously? Yo, what?
Hey, what are you talking about?
This has never happened to me before.
- It's happening now. - Hey, my man,
- like, what is... yo. - Oi, oi.
'Cause he's talkin' about he's not takin' my I.D.?
You know, I don't... Come on, now.
Yeah. You know?
That's a beautiful thing.
Yeah, that... you know,
that's all I'm trying to tell the dude in the first place.
Gracias, bRother.
Let's go.
You can go to jail for this.
- Bring your a - Game.
You're faking!
What kind of a doctor says that to a kid
with cystic fibrosis and two kids with cancer?
Damn kids.
Hey, man, what the hell? That doctor's a criminal, man.
He stole my beer and my condoms.
Damn.
Let me explain... - I don't want to hear it.
The less said, the better.
Inside, all of you.
I would go in with you,
but I'm waiting for a patient's parents to arrive.
Now.
She has an enlarged heart,
and it's beginning to fail.
It might have been a virus that went undetected.
I am so sorry.
So what happens now?
First, we need to simply monitor her,
keep her comfortable.
But eventually, she is going to need a heart transplant.
My God. When?
Well, I'm not sure.
But I do have to warn you that hearts are very hard to come by,
and the waiting list is long.
Well, we'll just get on another list, then.
It is not that simple. And unfortunately,
Kara's going to have a very difficult time qualifying.
Why?
We drug tested her.
We found amphetamines, nicotine, cocaine, marijuana,
and those were just the preliminary results.
And that is going to put her at the bottom
of the waiting list for a heart.
How do you tell the girl who needs a heart
that she never really had one to begin with?
Are you watching this?
So, volunteer dude...
Where are his parents? Divorced.
His mom's out of town this week,
and his dad... I don't know.
My dad was with me when I had my accident,
and as a result he lost his visitation rights.
Why do you ask?
- This is gonna sound cray - Cray, but when I was unconscious,
he asked me to tell his dad something.
I was probably just hallucinating.
What did he say, exactly?
I knew it. You're him.
Look, please don't tell, all right?
It's really complicated.
I'll bet.
What did he say?
Kara, tell him. You promised.
I'm gonna have to think really hard to remember exactly,
but while I do, could you go get something for me?
Yo. Got the key card for the roof from ruben.
- Yes. - But I had to trade him
the weed to get it. What?
Look, he said we shouldn't be smokin' it, man.
Plus, this is L.A. it's all about location.
This party's a total bust.
I'm sorry, Jordi.
Are you kidding?
As my life goes, this is a pretty good day.
Yo, your life must suck.
No tips, please.
I'm getting so wasted tonight, boys.
And that is not an invitation.
Leo always said he'd die of boredom
before he'd die of cancer.
One thing you can say about Kara...
She's never boring.
Who are you?
Your new best friend.
Hi, guys.
Emma was used to being the only girl that mattered.
And now Kara was moving in on her territory,
and everybody knew it.
Well, well.
If it isn't the human sleeping pill.
Sleep disorder clinic's on the fourth floor, honey.
- Aw, what happened? You lose your pom - Poms?
Now things are getting interesting.
All right, yo. Let's roll, let's roll.
So what, we're just gonna, like, drink beer on the roof?
Big whoop.
Yolo.
Dash, this is friggin' amazing.
Yeah. It wasn't me, man.
It was the magic man, ruben.
Good evening, gentlemen.
Where'd you get that?
One of the kids.
For lord's sake, ruben.
So how long do you think we should let them stay up there?
Let's give them an hour.
Why?
Well, I asked a couple of nurses to join me up there
after their shift.
Wh... why waste it?
You're welcome to join us.
I have surgery in the morning.
Don't look at me.
I can't help it.
♪ And I'm wishing I could hold you tight ♪
♪ Instead of singing out of tune ♪
♪ And release your prayers for me ♪
♪ 'Cause I need to be so free another round of falling... ♪
Hey. I need a phone. That Nazi nurse took mine.
Sure.
This is really old, like, 2013.
Can you ever just give it a rest?
If I could, don't you think I would?
♪ I'm wondering where I'm going ♪
♪ Acting like you always cared ♪
Hey.
Hey, thanks for nothing, buying the beer.
It's totally flat.
Next time, I want the real stuff,
or I'll blow your cover.
Find your music, Kara.
Okay, listen.
Charlie told me to tell you that none of this is your fault.
See you looking real cold over here.
I wish you could see what I'm doing to your leg right now,
because it's absolutely perfect.
Life is full of black holes, like nurse Jackson says.
And the only person who can pull you out is you.
I've been wearing these for a long time.
It's time to let them go.
Worst party favors ever.
This is from my first trip to the E.R.
Dash was there that night. It was the first time we met.
He kept playing dead and freaking out all the nurses.
Emma... This is from my first surgery.
And I want you to... to wear it, to keep you safe.
Thanks, Leo.
Kara... My skin graft...
T.M.I., I just threw up in my mouth.
'Cause I believe, like skin,
there are layers to you that have yet to be revealed.
Jordi...
This is the most important band of all.
I wore it when I had my big surgery.
And I want you to know you're not alone.
"We few...
"We happy few, we band of bRothers.
"For he today that sheds his blood with me...
Shall be my bRother."
Hey.
You didn't go with everyone for fro-yo?
I can't eat this late.
Surgery tomorrow.
No.
My red band,
it must have fallen off somewhere.
Don't tell Leo.
Find you another one.
Emma... Can we dance?
It might be a while before I get to again.
Hey.
This is for you.
I didn't want to say the reason why up on the roof in front of everyone.
But when I was having my big surgery,
you spoke to me.
You know, when I was under anesthesia.
And you said something that only tonight
I've come to understand.
You said,
"luck isn't getting what you want.
It's surviving what you don't want."
And, man... I'm surviving.
I only hope I can be half the man you are, my friend.
It's hard to sleep over the sound of your thoughts.
You never answered my question,
when I asked how much it hurts.
Okay, it does hurt.
But not in the way you think it will.
They give you awesome painkillers
for the physical pain.
What hurts most is...
Is not that... That it's gone.
What hurts is... is remembering it was ever there.
But then, with time, that memory stops hurting, too.
I won't be me anymore.
You will be you.
You will always be you.
You might even be more you.
How?
Because, and I'm gonna let you in on a secret now,
because your body isn't you.
Your soul is you, and they can never cut into your soul.
Now, go to sleep and stop bothering me.
_
So, like, wake up already!
Can I do something?
Sure.
Everyone thinks that when you go to a hospital, life stops.
But it's just the opposite.
Life starts.
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